Fontana, CA — You know we had to have this conversation.
So, let’s get into it.
Let’s say you just met someone in the Spring heading into Summer. Do you want to find out how much that person is into you and is pursuing or sincerely interested in you? Well, let’s see their level of pursuit and availability for you during the summer.
Some of you might ask, “What’s the big deal about a particular time of the year?”
Oh—it had everything to do with it. Let me explain.
There is yet to be a definitive consensus on whether dating in the summer is more complicated than during other times of the year, as personal experiences and social contexts vary widely. However, let’s explore some factors that could contribute to the perception that summer dating is more challenging:
- Travel and Vacations: Summer is a popular time for vacations, meaning people might travel more frequently. This can make it harder to establish and maintain consistent dating routines.
- Social CommitmentsSummer often brings an increase in social events, such as weddings, festivals, and family gatherings. These commitments can limit the time available for dating.
- Heat and Comfort:High summer temperatures can be uncomfortable depending on the region, potentially making outdoor dates less enjoyable and reducing the desire to go out. But that said, the warmer weather absolutely brings the freak out in many people—they seem to be far more willing to consider activities with people they don’t really know, and the nonstop party vibe is undeniable.
- Transient Populations In areas with many tourists or seasonal workers, the dating pool can be more transient, leading to shorter-term connections rather than long-term relationships. And if you’re getting to know someone in this type of setting, just be careful of fully thrusting yourself into a scenario of exclusive commitment when the person you’re getting to know may very well just be making their rounds.
- School Breaks For younger individuals, summer break from school or college can mean returning home or moving to different locations, disrupting ongoing relationships or making it harder to start new ones. And again, it’s important to understand the power and influence of warmer weather and the loosey-goosey mentality many people bring to summer indulgence.
Despite these challenges, summer also presents unique opportunities for dating, such as outdoor activities, longer daylight hours, and a generally more relaxed atmosphere. But you have heard it here first—you must understand that the summertime is also challenging.
So, what should you do if you’re still hoping to meet the right person, given everything we’ve discussed about summer? Here are a few tips to consider:
Do not kid yourself: the person you’re meeting is also meeting other people. Assume this is the case in the Summertime.
Be clear about what you want and don’t want regarding this new person. Just like any other time of the year, but now in the summer, you’re making it clear that you’re not the optional type of person juggled amongst the likely rotation of people they’re meeting and vetting. This could (and should) change the vibe—but that is OK. And the other person shouldn’t be made wrong for having fun and not ready to settle down. It’s just not for YOU.
Have fun yourself! Perhaps take the edge off and not concern yourself with where a person stands in terms of their desire for an exclusive relationship. You know what you ultimately want, so maybe this is a great time to meet new people and build your circle of friends and acquaintances.
Have a great Summer and have lots of fun. But again, don’t be mistaken by the power of what the warmer weather does to people regarding their openness to commitment.
About the Author:
Kerry Neal is the founder and creator of Urban Birds & Bees, a social change movement and podcast that elevates the discussion regarding Black relationships including dating practices, mate selection, and self-awareness. Originally from Flint, Michigan by way of St. Louis, Kerry facilitates transparent conversations that addresses common misconceptions and belief systems that often govern dating practices in the Black community. Kerry studied Psychology at Cal State Fullerton, Leadership & Management/Organizational Development at University of La Verne, and is completing his Doctoral Studies in Educational Leadership at Cal State San Bernardino.
