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When You Harbor Bitterness, Happiness Will Dock Somewhere Else

Wendy Gladney

Upland CA ~ Queen Elizabeth II, after serving on the throne for over 70 years, her reign has ended.  Her death brought an end to an era.  During her funeral it was said that Harry and Meghan were “snubbed” in terms of how they were treated, even to the point of where they were delegated to sit at Harry’s grandmother’s funeral (although he was very close to her).  Both Harry and Meghan could choose to harbor bitterness or go on with their chosen life in happiness.  Raising their children and family the way they so desire.  I believe they understood the importance of letting go of bitterness a long time ago.  

When we harbor unforgiveness it makes us miserable. Who wants to live a life of misery? When I learned to release and let go, God took the misery out of my memory. There are always things that will happen in our life that can give us just cause to be mad, angry, disappointed, and downright bitter, but in the end when we hold onto it the only person who suffers is us.  Unforgiveness can cause disease in our body, depression in our minds, and despair in our soul if we do not get our feelings under control.

There are different issues that can cause us to hold onto bitterness, sadness, or unhappiness.  Two emotions that can have a stronghold on us is shame and judgment. The dictionary defines shame as a painful feeling of humiliation caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.  Judgment is described as a misfortune or calamity viewed as a divine punishment. Oftentimes when we cannot shake feeling shame about what we have done or what has been done to us we hold onto feelings that can control our actions and emotions.  Likewise, when we feel judged we can draw inward and build up anxieties that have internal and external effects.  Some of these can cause consequences that last a lifetime.

If we want to experience true happiness, we must take control of our emotions and outcomes.  We can care about others, but we must not let them control our lives. No one can make us feel anything we do not allow.  If we know we have made a mistake we must do our best to correct the situation, but once we have done all that we can do, let it go.  People will judge us for as long as we are on this earth (and maybe even long after we are gone). Personal happiness is a choice.  We can choose to focus on our blessings or mishaps.  Learn from your mishaps and be grateful each day for the positive things happening in your life.

The past three years have brought on their own set of disasters, tragedies, deaths, and for some financial ruin, but if we have breath in our bodies, we can improve our lot in life. It is true that life is 20 percent what happens to us and 80 percent what we do with it.  It is up to us to have the mindset to stay positive. Do not let anyone steal your joy.  Even if you are regulated to sit behind those that you should be able to sit side by side.  Keep smiling. 

“Happiness is a choice, not a result.  Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.  No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy.  Your happiness will not come to you.  It can only come from you.” Ralph Marston

Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.

 Visit www.WendyGladney.com and www.forgivingforliving.org to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.

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