Fontana, CA — This past Sunday, millions around the globe celebrated Easter, or Resurrection Sunday—a sacred commemoration of Christ’s triumph over death and the new life His resurrection symbolizes. For Christians, it’s a reminder that restoration and renewal are possible even in the darkest moments. But resurrection doesn’t just apply to the spiritual realm. For many Black singles, especially college-educated people seeking lasting partnerships, it might be time to resurrect something else entirely: your dating life.
Let’s be honest—between ghosting, swipe fatigue, unclear intentions, and an ever-expanding spectrum of “situationships,” the state of modern dating can feel downright apocalyptic. Some of y’all are in full Lazarus mode—your dating life isn’t just asleep; it’s been buried behind a stone. But the good news? Just like that stone was rolled away, there’s hope for your love life to rise again—if you’re intentional.
Are You Dating for Likes or Legacy?
In a world where validation often comes from likes, comments, and emojis, it’s worth asking: Are you dating for attention or with intention? There’s a growing movement among educated Black singles who are tired of aimless entanglements and want to build something real—partnerships rooted in purpose, spiritual alignment, emotional safety, and shared vision.
Recent data from the Pew Research Center (2023) indicate that while 61% of Black singles say they’re open to marriage, many also express dissatisfaction with the current dating landscape, citing a lack of compatible partners who share their values, ambition, and emotional maturity. Dr. Thema Bryant, President of the American Psychological Association and a nationally respected psychologist, emphasizes the importance of clarity in dating: “If you want a lasting relationship, you have to be honest about your intentions and unafraid to walk away from anything less.”
Exhibit A: The Lemonade Stand Lady
In a now-viral moment, a Black woman set up what can only be described as a “Date-Me Booth”—think lemonade stand, but for love. She sat outside with a sign inviting random passersby to sit, chat, and see if they vibed. Some people praised her boldness, while others called it desperate. Either way, it captured a profound truth: many people are deeply yearning for connection, but they’re not sure how to find it in a world that keeps playing musical chairs with commitment.
And here’s the kicker: It doesn’t have to be this complicated.
5 Ways to Resurrect Your Dating Life (And Attract a Ready Partner)
1. Go to Therapy—and Stay There
Let’s start here. If you’re serious about building a future with someone, unpack your past. Therapy isn’t just for when things are falling apart—it’s also for preparing yourself to hold together the kind of love you’re asking for. Licensed therapist Dr. Spirit (frequently featured on TV One’s Fatal Attraction) says, “Unhealed trauma will either make you chase unavailable people or sabotage intimacy when it finally arrives.”
- Date Outside the App—In Real Life
Dating apps are convenient, but they aren’t the only way. Be open to meeting people organically—at professional events, alumni mixers, church functions, or even the gym (yes, eye contact still works). According to Psychology Today, 37% of couples still meet offline, and those relationships tend to last longer. - Be Clear and Courageous About What You Want
Stop auditioning for roles you don’t even want. If you’re dating for marriage, say that. Don’t downplay your standards to keep someone around. You deserve someone who wants what you want, not someone you’re constantly trying to convince or convert. - Check Your Ego (and Your Filters)
Sometimes, the person you need doesn’t come in the expected packaging. Don’t let “must be 6’2”, make six figures, have no kids, and have a full beard” be the reason you miss out on the good things God has for you. - Get in Purpose—and Stay There
There’s nothing more attractive than a person walking in their purpose. If you’re spiritually grounded, emotionally healthy, and pursuing what God called you to do, you’ll attract someone doing the same.
Despite the challenges, Black Love isn’t dead—it’s evolving. But to experience the resurrection of your own dating life, you’ll need to be willing to:
– Heal.
– Grow.
– Date differently.
– Let go of old stories.
– Be seen—authentically.
Remember, God raised Jesus from the dead. Surely, He can revive your dusty old dating life, too. But resurrection requires faith, effort, and a willingness to leave the tomb.
So… are you ready to rise?
About the Author:
Kerry Neal is the founder and creator of Urban Birds & Bees, a social change movement and podcast that elevates the discussion regarding Black relationships including dating practices, mate selection, and self-awareness. Originally from Flint, Michigan by way of St. Louis, Kerry facilitates transparent conversations that addresses common misconceptions and belief systems that often govern dating practices in the Black community. Kerry studied Psychology at Cal State Fullerton, Leadership & Management/Organizational Development at University of La Verne, and is completing his Doctoral Studies in Educational Leadership at Cal State San Bernardino.
