It’s been about a week since the historic concert at the Kia Forum in Inglewood, CA, where Kendrick Lamar, a famed rap artist, held a “Pop Up” concert on Juneteenth. This concert was a defining moment in hip-hop culture, especially for the West Coast, as he (Kendrick Lamar) not only honored the life of slain hip-hop artist Nipsey Hussle but also brought on stage several West Coast rappers, including gang rivals for a unity image that will go down in history. The concert was aired on Amazon Prime and probably was one of the best business decisions the company will ever make.
This concert also featured Kendrick Lamar’s number one hit song, globally speaking, “Not Like Us,” which is actually a diss track (meaning, a song created to disrespect another person) toward renowned recording artist Drake.
And “disrespect Drake” was surely accomplished!
The song’s essence pokes at the authentic Black image of Drake—as with many rappers—brought up in difficult circumstances, understanding life from a street perspective and navigating the challenges of low socioeconomic existence. Kendrick Lamar dismantles Drake in this regard and essentially characterizes him as a manufactured industry idea with an affinity for underage girls. Many feel this song could destroy Drake’s popularity and impact his career.
Thus, the song is called “Not Like Us” because Kendrick Lamar makes it shockingly known that Drake is a phony Black rapper and even refers to his efforts to appeal to a Black hip-hop fan base as colonization. Whew!
So, what does this have to do with dating advice?
I’m glad you asked, and in the words of Kendrick Lamar, Bear with me for a second, let me put y’all on game.
If there is something that I’ve become crystal clear about, it is that we, as men and women, tend to assess the opposite sex through the lens of our own lives, norms, and perspectives. Some men say that women are just too emotional, not considering that women are wired and designed to be far more emotional than men are and will ever be. Asking a woman not to be emotional is asking a woman not to be a woman.
Men—say it with me: “They not like us—they not like us!”
Women—men are not hairy women. They are men who think, communicate, and see the world through their masculine lenses. So, if you do not understand men from the norms of what it means to be a man, you could be guilty of trying to figure out why men do what they do and why they don’t do it like a woman will do or think.
Ladies—say it in unison—”They not like us—they not like us!”
The next date you go on, try to hear the other person out and what they think about…anything. If it’s even a bit unclear to you, instead of thinking, “Typical man, typical woman,” why not ask them, “So why do you see things that way?” Listen to learn from each other and zone in on their “WHY.” Then, honor their view of the world because whatever that is, it’s influenced by heartaches and pains, victories and triumphs, lessons learned, and wise and poor counsel.
Now, I know this is not the first time you’ve heard something like this. I hope that is just a reminder and gentle nudge to respect the other person’s masculine or feminine existence and how it manifests in who they are today. But some of you reading this still won’t bother to shift.
Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop!! Snap out of it! This could be why you can’t seem to have a sustained relationship—respect who that person is, celebrate the differences, and not try to have them meet you at your level of comfort. After all, the family matter and the truth of the matter is that it was God’s plan to show y’all the liar (it would be you if you’re still trying to make the opposite sex think like you).
