Dear Friend,

Did you know that in 2025, it was found that at least half of American adults experienced isolation, exclusion, or insufficient companionship, while 69% lacked needed emotional support?

It seems like while we have greater access to connection, somehow our connections are still leaving us with a void or a gap of some sort.

Now we are even using the expression “being outside.” It’s as if we’re still trying to make up for lost time during the height of COVID, although those days of widespread isolation are now years behind us.

Dr. April Clay, CEO, Clay Counseling Solutions; CPO, Clay Counseling Foundation

Maybe it’s the amount of time that we spend in virtual relationships that’s causing us to yearn for in-person connection, or perhaps it is a residual effect from what I think of as the “indoor era.” Whatever the case, there does seem to be a trend happening right now, and “being outside” is the expression we’re using to capture this desire to be in person, one-on-one and face-to-face with other people.

So, in this era, it’s a good idea for us to consider ways to balance our desire to be outside, meaning having human interaction one-on-one and face-to-face, with something that isn’t isolation, but perhaps a little cocooning. A little time alone. A little self-care.

And that brings us to boundaries.

Setting healthy boundaries means that we need to be able to identify things that are working and things that are not working in our lives, and establish a baseline expectation of what we want for ourselves.

Last time, we talked about the importance of relationships and how the people around us can sometimes recognize when something has changed in us.

Relationships matter. But part of having healthy relationships is also knowing when we need to be with others and when we need a little time inside our own cocoon.

This summer, some days reached triple digits in certain parts of Southern California, leaving us looking for ways to stay inside.

In my neighborhood, I see the local bookstore and libraries getting a lot more attention than they have in past weeks. I also see fewer of my neighbors spending time outside when the sun is beating down nice and hot.

Tips from a Therapist

If we’re going to be outside, it’s a good idea to know ways to put ourselves in a position to have a little emotional sunblock, if you will.

Not that the sun is something we don’t want. It’s just that we want to protect ourselves so we don’t get burned.

Well, similarly, we have to find ways to protect ourselves from being emotionally exhausted from too much social connection or outdoor time, if you will. As a result, it’s a good idea to set some healthy, natural boundaries for ourselves.

When is it too much indoor time or cocooning? And when is it too much outdoor time, being face-to-face, interacting and socializing?

For me, it’s the times that I find myself wishing I could put a mask back on. That’s when I know I might be outside just a little longer than I need to. It might be time for me to cocoon a little bit.

Or, when I find myself feeling like I might be getting a little fear of missing out and I start scrolling social media a little longer, that’s how I know that it might be time for me to get back outside again.

Whatever helps you regulate, start identifying the signs that tell you when you need more or less time with people.

I would remind us that it’s a good idea to start using our natural resources more than we may have done in the recent past. If you’re a person who’s been depending on a phone like me, you may find yourself sending more texts and making fewer phone calls.

So, why not tip the scales the other way and start making more calls? That might satisfy the natural desire to have that human interaction that you may be longing for.

Or, if you’re a person who spends large amounts of time in community with others, it might be time for you to send a text and say that you’re going to take a little moment to breathe and practice some self-care.

Instead of going out, eat in. Prepare a meal for yourself or with a friend. Watch a movie with someone that you care about. Or maybe even get back into reading physical books again.

Whatever it is, find what helps you pour back into you.

Healthy boundaries don’t have to mean shutting people out. Sometimes they simply mean knowing when you’ve had enough sun, when you need a little shade, and when you’re ready to step outside again.

Until next time, stay encouraged, remain committed, and be well.