Wendy Gladney, The Purpose Partner
Upland, CA — As we honor and prepare to celebrate the birthday and enduring legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I am reminded that his message was never meant to remain in history books or commemorative speeches. His life was a living invitation, a call to choose love, forgiveness, and nonviolence not as ideas or strategies, but as a way of life. This reflection is deeply personal for me. Many years ago, while running my own event management company, I had the honor and privilege of working with the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC), the only organization officially founded by Dr. King himself. Through my work in the community, I also had the opportunity to meet and get to know three of his children: Martin Luther King III, Dexter Scott King, and Yolanda King. I am profoundly grateful to have played even a small role in carrying forward Dr. King’s vision after his untimely death.
As we reflect on his life, I want to focus on something essential, especially in a world that often feels divided, loud, and heavy. Dr. King understood that the greatest battles we face are not just political or social, but moral and spiritual. He famously said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” These words are more than a quote. They are a truth we must choose to live. Hate multiplies hate. Violence multiplies violence. Bitterness multiplies brokenness. But love interrupts the cycle. Love does not mean ignoring injustice. Love means refusing to become consumed by it. Dr. King knew that nonviolence was not weakness. It was disciplined strength. It was courage under control. It was faith in action. And from my own lived experience, I know this to be true, only love has the power to transform hearts without destroying our humanity.
I believe nonviolence is a commitment and a choice. For many years my mantra was, “Healing Without Hate: It is a Choice; It is a Lifestyle; Pass it On!” Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Nonviolence is not a garment to be put on and taken off at will. It is a seat is in the heart.” That statement matters. Nonviolence is not situational. It is not conditional. It is not always convenient. It is a commitment. Bayard Rustin, one of the chief architects of the Civil Rights Movement and the organizer of the March on Washington, believed that nonviolence was a moral philosophy not merely a method of protest. Nonviolence says: I will not mirror harm. I will not surrender my values to my anger. I will not let bitterness write my story. This kind of living requires intention. It requires discipline. And it requires love.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful expressions of love and one of the most misunderstood. Forgiveness does not excuse harm. Forgiveness does not deny pain. Forgiveness does not mean access is restored. Forgiveness means freedom is restored. I know this personally. I wrote a book titled; Forgiveness Can Change Your Life Forever because forgiveness changed mine. I did not forgive because it was easy. I forgave because I chose to live free. I could not walk out forgiveness through willpower alone, I walked it out through love, through faith, and through a conscious decision not to remain bound to what wounded me. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about releasing. And when forgiveness is rooted in love, it has the power to heal not only individuals but generations.
As someone who walks with women at life’s crossroads, here is what I have learned: our values are not tested in comfort, but in conflict. Love as a way of life means choosing compassion when anger feels justified. It means choosing restraint when retaliation feels deserved. It means choosing grace without losing your voice or your boundaries. This is where strategic grace lives. Strategic Grace says, I will speak truth without becoming cruel. I will be unshakable without becoming hardened. Love does not weaken your position. Love strengthens your legacy. As we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Bayard Rustin, let us remember this: they were not perfect people, they were committed people. Committed to love. Committed to forgiveness. Committed to nonviolence not as a moment, but as a way of life.
Wendy is the Purpose Partner helping women go from Crossroads to Confidence, from Shaken to Unshakable, from Purpose to Power. To learn more visit WendyGladney.com and ForgivingForLiving.org.
